Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Crash...


Where do I begin? I may have overdone things last week. It comes from seizing the opportunities that presented themselves. But unfortunately I have to pay for the enjoyment I had. I may also have a virus, but I can't decide if it's 'just' M.E. symptoms flaring or in fact I'm also battling a virus. We shall have to wait and see on that one.

You see last week I seized the opportunity to go shopping on a number of occasions. First to a local retail park, then the city centre, another local retail park and finally a large store about 25 miles from where I live. These trips weren't long, half a day at most, some no more than an hour. All were enjoyable. All successful trips. All in the space of four days. All while doing other seemingly little things during the day as well. And that my friends is my mistake.

I shouldn't have done the other little things when I knew I was going out, or I shouldn't have gone on one or two of those trips. The problem is it was an opportunity that rarely comes my way, to go shopping during off peak times is an opportunity I hate to miss. At least that way the payback isn't as severe as it would be during peak times. Unless you do four shopping trips in as many days...

The trouble is I needed to go shopping, to at least four shops. And I admit I didn't need to go to the large store about 25 miles away, but it's a store I love going to and often find a good bargain at, so I went anyway. Like I said all the trips were successful in one sense or another; new duvet covers, a new dress suitable for a wedding, deciding on what I would like for my birthday, replacement cups with large handles and enjoying the Essex countryside along the way (well at least on the last trip!).

Now I'm in the beginning/middle/end of a crash, I really can't decide. Or at least that's how it feels. I spent most of the weekend in bed, dozing through trashy DVDs I've watched numerous times and know the storyline of pretty much by heart. I'm in bed at 10pm and asleep by 11pm at the latest. I'm sleeping for around 10 hours a night, yet still struggling during the day. My pain levels have rocketed, especially, for some reason unknown to me, in my left hip. My concentration is poor and the amount of time I'm able to spend reading/doing work on screen without getting a headache has reduced considerably. Sitting upright has been a challenge as well, since it seems my blood pressure plummets and I get rather dizzy. My sore throat and headaches have also flared, and the fatigue...there's literally no words to describe how bone crushingly exhausted I feel, which is what makes me wonder if perhaps I'm also fighting yet another virus, yet until I'm out of this crash I'm unable to tell. I might never know.

But I'm recovering, very slowly. With lots of rest. I've had to cut back on the time I spend on social media. I've fallen behind with what's happening with my friends' on there. I've missed out on visits to my family. I'm relying heavily on my family members to help me out. All because I went on four shopping trips in four days. Something so many people do without thinking. They wouldn't have to consider that many trips, especially at the length they were, a source of extreme exhaustion. A source of isolation in many ways. Yet for me and many others with M.E. that's just what so many shopping trips does.