Tuesday, 1 July 2014

What's in a name?

Have you ever wondered why I titled my blog A Life Within an Illness? Yes? Well today I thought I'd explain.

It might seem like a strange title but to me it makes perfect sense. You see no matter how well I am - and by well I mean how mildly/moderately/severely affected by M.E. I may be - I always have to live within certain limits if I'm to maintain that level of activity.

So to avoid a boom and bust cycle I have to carefully manage my activities no matter how much better I feel. Do too much and risk pushing myself back to more severe symptoms for an unknown period of time; could be days, weeks, months or even years.

Therefore to me I'm living my life within the limitations of M.E. It hasn't taken everything away from me but I have to live within the limits it sets. My life happens within the limitations of my illness. Hence the name A Life Within an Illness.

For me this name signifies I want to make the most of my life within the limitations I have. It's not that I'm living within the illness itself, just within the boundaries it sets for me. A positive take on a situation that can be anything but.

Right now I'm finding those limits very restricting, especially since I'm back on crutches unable to put weight on my right knee or bend it for any real amount of time. The pain is making me tire more easily, but also making it difficult to get a decent sleep. Using crutches to hop around is putting extra stress on my arms & upper body which after a number of days is starting to take its toll. I'm having to rely on my family to carry things from room to room for me. But things will get better again, for now I have to live within these limits. I'm still managing to do things albeit sitting down resting my leg straight, and for that I'm grateful.

I will make the best of living my life within the limits of my illness.