Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Well What Can I Say...?

Things seems to be improving, well at least with the infection. Almost finished the antibiotics (only one more to go!) and I am feeling better in one sense.

In another sense I know this has had a significant impact on the M.E. and that I am finding it difficult to do some everyday things which had been easier in recent years - getting dressed, having a shower, making a cuppa all now involve more rest afterwards as I find them so exhausting. At least with the infection hopefully cleared up I'm back to just having to deal with the M.E. The only trouble is, M.E. is a much more stubborn creature to fight!

The other night I felt overwhelmed by all this, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I really struggled to get changed into my pyjamas. I was close to tears at one point. But even after a terrible night's sleep, I woke up feeling much calmer, positive and in control of the situation.

I have started practising meditation, as I think I've mentioned in a previous post. And being in touch with the breath and movement of the body as you breathe is really helping and I'm finding myself much more relaxed and at peace even when the pain is bad. Meditating helped me to get through the anxiety I felt when I was overwhelmed the other night, it cleared my mind and allowed me to focus on the important things. Not worry about the future but concentrate on the present moment.

Right now despite how daunting my uni module looks, everything seems achievable. I'm not saying things are going to be easy, because I know from previous experience that they often are not. However things do not look as difficult as they did the other day, when it seemed like everything was against me and doing the uni module would be almost impossible!

That's it for now folks! Hope everyone is as well as possible right now.